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50 Reasons to Hate the French by Jules Eden

By Jules Eden

“If the French can motivate a e-book as humorous as this, maybe we shouldn’t hate them after all!”

Toby younger, Spectator critic

“Deliciously irreverent and provocative!”

Christopher Silvester, autonomous on Sunday

You shuddered while the U.S. Congress renamed French fries. You sighed while the French rejected the ecu structure they’d written themselves. yet come on, admit it: deep down there’s anything in we all that loves to take a swipe at our Gallic neighbors. This booklet offers you fifty painstakingly researched, wittily written purposes to again up your perspectives.

From sinking the Rainbow Warrior, photographs of leaders earlier and current, to Serge Gainsbourg, the Quasimodo of French pop, this publication solutions each query you’ve bought in regards to the French – other than one: “Why simply fifty?’

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Why is there no French Rolling Stones? Why did no French performer appear at Live Aid? Why doesn’t Madonna go and live in Paris (a question demanded by every Londoner)? The answers lie in the story of French Rock. Pre-War: In the early 20th century, Paris was the counter-culture capital of Europe, teeming with avant garde painters, decadent poets, realist novelists, pioneering filmmakers and folk singers. This artistic fertility contrasts its absolute failure in the international pop scene during the next half of the century.

Rudeness. Little yapping dogs. Le rock and roll. Le Roi Soleil. Napoleon. The UN. The EU. Stuffed geese. Suppositories. Strikes. Speedos... My boozy French “friends” drank all my wine and left. With the exception of the local mayor, who collapsed in the garden. We left him under a blanket next to his dog. It all got me thinking about France’s place in the world, past and present. Why do the French condemn Coalition actions in Iraq while their own army rampages through the Ivory Coast? How do they reconcile being such animal-lovers that Michelin-starred restaurants let dogs eat at table yet, every summer, they go hunting for songbirds to crush with large stones?

A couple of minutes later”, remembers Sly Dunbar, “we were fifty miles away”. (The legend lost some lustre when it was revealed that the concert promoter had hired his own gang of ex-soldiers to form a tight wall in front of the stage in case the audience tried any tricks. Gainsbourg was never in any danger). Aux Armes went to the top of the French charts but it was a rare commercial success. He was more famous for being infamous. Another album, Ecce Homo, toyed with the idea of a gay Gainsbourg, singing songs like Bowie, Beau oui comme Bowie (As Pretty As David Bowie), while his Lolita fixation reached its high point in the creepy video for Un Zeste de Citron (Lemon Incest) which showed him half-naked eyeing his thirteen-year old daughter, Charlotte across a large bed.

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